Breaking the cycle: childhood emotional neglect

How do we break the cycles resulting from childhood emotional neglect in order to have successful / healthy intimacy in our relationships?

First ask yourself..

In what ways are you repeating the cycle?
Without understanding and addressing patterns, you may be repeating cycles of emotional neglect toward your partner or find yourself in a relationship where someone is emotionally neglectful towards you.
Signs of emotional neglect in a relationship include:

lack of communication or chronically defensive communication patterns

feeling lonely in the presence of your partner

inability to comfort others or be comforted during times of distress

avoiding topics that might lead to emotional conversations

preferring to be alone or do things alone

acting without consideration of the other person

avoiding emotional intimacy or moments of affection

using the silent treatment to express your disagreement

How to challenge and change these patterns-

Practice identifying your emotions and the emotions of others; cultivate "people skills", and open yourself to personal experiences of joy that can help you reconnect with emotions you weren't allowed to express or experience as a child. Increase empathy by practicing connecting authentically with others in order to increase comfortability with vulnerability.

Therapy can help facilitate this personal growth and increase awareness of patterns that prevent development of healthy relationships. In addition, it is essential to increase understanding of how the nervous system works to regulate emotional closeness, when it is activated or "heightened" due to traumatic triggers from childhood- and to learn how to reduce reactivity and defensiveness with healthy/ adaptive coping strategies.