Surviving childhood narcissistic abuse

"Death by a thousand cuts"

Narcissistic abuse during childhood is characterized by countless seemingly minor adversarial incidents purposely caused by caregiver with goal of gaining narcissistic supply ("ego boost").

Narcissistic abuse can be defined as deliberate parental/ caregiver emotional abandonment of child, withholding affection from child, manipulation of child, uncaring/cold behaviors toward child as punishment. These tactics are used intentionally by the caregiver against the child in order to promote themselves or for secondary gain.

Some examples of Narcissistic abuse / behaviors are: using the "silent treatment", parental raging, attacking child's self worth, lying/ distorting the truth, blaming child with intention of creating shame and guilt.

Children of narcissists report living their lives on "eggshells" and feeling confused about reality and their lives. Deliberate distortion of reality through lies and "gaslighting" tactics are a large part of this atmosphere.

Growing up in this type of environment means enduring years and years of abuse, leading to the slow erosion of self worth and mental health. Many adult children of narcissists develop complex post traumatic stress disorder:

Symptoms of C-PTSD may include:

Flashbacks and nightmares. Reliving the trauma from narcissistic abuse.

•Being on-alert 24/7 waiting for the other shoe to drop.

•Easily startled. Loud or unexpected noises make one jump.

•Feeling detached from one’s emotions or body. (dissociation)

•Avoidance behavior. Avoiding situations like large crowds, family gatherings, or anything that reminds one of the abuse.

•Avoiding intimate relationships. Not being able to trust others or believing others to be dangerous hampers any form of intimacy.

•Lack of emotional regulation. Having uncontrollable emotions such as chronic sadness or anger.

•An inaccurate perception of the narcissist. Being preoccupied with the relationship between the victim and the narcissist , or continuously thinking of revenge.

-people pleasing or over performing with hope of earning consistent approval/ love

•An overwhelming sense of guilt or shame. Feeling utterly different from other people and not worthy of life